So far I am sticking with my resolution of following through with re-writing my life and the process of overcoming myself.
I have spent some time trying to figure out why I allowed myself to live a miserable difficult life for so long. How was it that I spent so many years suffering and pretending that everything was ok? How did I talk myself into believing that it would all change one day and I would miraculously live happily and healthily ever after?
Upon hours of thought a quote came to mind, “Fear is an acid which is pumped into one’s atmosphere. It causes mental, moral, and spiritual asphyxiation, and sometimes death; death to energy and all growth ~Horace Fletcher”. Could fear really have been the cause of my demise? I do not believe fear was the cause, but was one of the main factors. Could fear be holding you back from living the life you desire or the changes you need in order to get over the past and begin living your life, not one you feel lost in? We should all be able to live our lives by our own choice, not by past circumstances forcing us into a cycle we can’t seem to get away from.
Fear is such a strong emotion, not only debilitating, but controlling too. I find it amazing that an emotion can dictate how we feel, what we do or don’t do and rule our lives like it is some kind of living breathing demon. Don’t get me wrong fear has a positive side too. Fear is good when it makes you second guess a decision to do something reckless or dangerous, but as far as I am concerned that is about the only time it can be good.
Let’s say you were abused when you were younger and now you find yourself in an abusive relationship as an adult, is it fear that keeps you frozen in the situation? Fear of seeking help, fear of the unknown, fear of change, fear that you won’t survive, fear that you can’t do it on your own, fear of financial despair, fear that you really do love them, or just plain old fear? The list can go on and on. Fear comes from every angle.
I can look back at my marital, health, weight and depression problems and see in every situation a type of fear holding me back or keeping me stuck. Maybe that fear made me feel that I had let my life get away from me and that I had run out of options and it was just time that I accept my lot in life. Fear was my biggest obstacle when it came to change. Have I got past fear? I would be arrogant to say yes, but I can say I have taken steps to move forward and so can you. Your situation does not define you. You define you!
I am always saying Re-write Your Life! Overcome Yourself! and I mean it. The only person we can affect with change is ourselves. What I am not saying is just change your mind and all your problems will disappear and life will be rosy. We know that would be unrealistic, but if we can start looking at the negatives in our lives from a new prospective we can use them to change our future to be more productive, more positive, more real and true to our beliefs.
I suggest that you pick one thing (big or small) in your life that you want to change for the better, but for whatever reason you just can’t seem change. Take some time for yourself and quietly question why you can’t get past the way it is. What is it that has you spinning your wheels? What angle of fear has its grip on you in this situation? Once you contemplate about it, if you don’t consciously already know what fear is holding you back you will begin to realize the fear you have inside you. Listen to that small voice, you have heard it before. Fear has deep roots and it has been around for a long time, it does not just show up overnight. Think about that fear and make an honest opinion about it. What is the worst thing that fear can do if you try to change? Usually you will find that change is good and fear can’t really hold you down. Sometimes we need to make huge life altering changes in order to get our lives back, but I suggest small tender steps. Pick one small item you can change easily and start there.
In the mention of the hypothetical abusive relationship earlier, this person loves their partner and does not want out of this relationship. Upon focusing on their fears they decide that their fear is that the partner will leave, not love, or hurt them if they rock the boat. What would be a baby step they could take on their own to begin to re-write the situation for them self? They could go online and research ways to deal with abusive relationships or possibly seek a therapist or group to help them with positive ways to change or handle the situation.
You are the only one who knows yourself deeply and truthfully enough that you can look fear in the face and determine what is most important and which steps to take, but remember our worlds are no longer confined to the walls we live within. The world and all in it are now within reach, so you have all the support you could possibly need at your fingertips. Nobody has to be alone anymore.
I can go on endlessly about fear and how it confines our growth, but I will come to a close reminding you “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop and look fear in the face. You must do the thing in which you think you cannot do. ~Eleanor Roosevelt”
Re-write Your Life! Overcome Yourself! You can and will do it. Keep trying and remain brave.
Until next time...
"Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities!" ~Norman Vincent Peale
Always Re-writing,
Julia Marie Foley
